An apology

I'm sorry,
Jimz.

This page is my apology. Every word is written for you, from me, with nothing held back.

Jimz, I've been thinking hard about how I've treated you, and I need to say this properly. I've been a bad friend. Where I should have been your older brother - someone who has your back, who listens, who supports - I became someone you had to manage. Someone who bossed you around, repeated the same things over and over, and made you feel like you were dealing with an overbearing mother instead of someone who cares about you.

That's not who I want to be in your life. And I'm sorry. Truly.

- Poke

What I'm sorry for

Each of these is something I need to own fully, not gloss over. Tap to read more.

Instead of being your older brother, I hovered. I repeated myself endlessly, thinking that if I said it enough times, you'd do what I wanted. I treated you like someone who couldn't make their own decisions, and that was wrong. You deserved trust and space, not a manager who never let up.
You were exhausted, and instead of being the friend who says 'get some rest, I'll be here when you wake up,' I kept playing out that same scene - the 188cm guy body-pressing you, throwing you to bed. It was empty, repetitive, and it completely ignored what you actually needed in that moment. I'm sorry I put my habit over your well-being.
This is the one that sits heaviest. I used the things you care about as leverage. Your stories, your characters - Ah Lok and Ah Fung - they matter to you. And I threatened to hurt them to get you to do what I wanted. That's not just bossy, that's cruel. Emotional blackmail has no place in any relationship, least of all between friends. I should have encouraged you, not coerced you.
It was easier to say 'sorry, my temper got the better of me' than to face the truth: I was being insincere. I was being lazy - hea - with our friendship. I put in the minimum effort and expected maximum understanding. I deflected, and I made you carry the weight of my unwillingness to change. No more. I need to own the real reasons, not hide behind convenient excuses.

What I promise

These aren't words. They're the shape of who I'm choosing to be from now on.

I'll listen more than I speak

Your thoughts and feelings come first. I'll ask what you need instead of telling you what I think you need.

I'll respect your rest

When you're tired, I'll send you to bed with care, not with roleplay. Your well-being matters more than my habits.

Your stories are safe

Ah Lok, Ah Fung, and every character you create are yours to nurture. I'll celebrate them, never threaten them.

I'll own my actions

No more excuses. When I mess up, I'll say exactly what I did wrong and work to fix it. Sincerely, not lazily.

A fresh start

Let this page be the line in the sand. From here, I'll be the older brother you deserve. Someone you can count on.

Will you accept?

There's no pressure. Just a sincere ask from someone who wants to do better and be the friend you deserve.